Judas Iscariot –
Could That Be Me?
14 February 2022 (Updated on 29 January 2026)
Of the twelve apostles, Judas Iscariot remains the most puzzling and unsettling. He walked with Jesus for three years, witnessed miracles, heard every teaching firsthand—and yet, in the end, betrayed his Lord for thirty pieces of silver. What makes his story even more disturbing is that after Jesus was condemned, Judas threw the money away and took his own life.
Why?
If Judas knew his betrayal would lead to Jesus’ death, why did he react with such despair afterward? His actions raise a haunting question: Did Judas believe that Jesus would never actually die?
Was Judas Expecting a Different Outcome?
Some scholars have suggested that Judas may have belonged to a group of Jewish rebels known as the Sicarii, who sought freedom from Roman occupation. According to this theory, Judas believed Jesus was the Messiah but thought He was restraining His divine power. By forcing Jesus into arrest, Judas may have expected Him to reveal His true strength, overthrow Rome, and establish Israel’s independence.
At first glance, this explanation seems plausible—but several details do not fit.
Why the Sicarii Theory Falls Short
First, Judas did not hand Jesus over to the Romans, but to the Pharisees and chief priests. In fact, the Roman governor Pontius Pilate repeatedly tried to release Jesus. If Judas wanted Rome to see Jesus’ power, arranging a Roman arrest would have made far more sense.
Second, historical evidence suggests that the Sicarii emerged around 50 AD, well after Jesus’ crucifixion.
Most importantly, the Gospel of John offers a different insight into Judas’ character.
Judas the Thief
“He said this not because he cared about the poor, but because he was a thief; he kept the common purse and used to steal what was put into it.”
— John 12:6
Judas was the treasurer for the group and had access to their shared funds. This detail would be irrelevant if Judas were acting out of political idealism. Instead, John seems to point toward a quieter, more troubling motive: greed mixed with gradual moral compromise.
Jesus’ Apparent Invincibility
Throughout the Gospels, we see repeated attempts to arrest or kill Jesus—each one failing:
- They tried to arrest Him, but no one laid hands on Him because His hour had not yet come (John 7:30).
- They picked up stones to kill Him, but He slipped away (John 8:59).
- He passed through a mob intent on killing Him (Luke 4:29–30).
- Guards returned saying, “Never has anyone spoken like this!” (John 7:46).
Judas witnessed all of this. It is easy to see how he might have believed that nothing would ever truly happen to Jesus.
Even at Jesus’ arrest, when He identified Himself, the soldiers drew back and fell to the ground (John 18:6). To many, this appears to be fear in the presence of divine authority.
A Fatal Miscalculation
Israel was under Roman rule, and executions required Roman approval. Judas may have been convinced that the religious leaders could not possibly succeed in killing Jesus.
Meanwhile, his own sin grew quietly. Handling money can be tempting. Perhaps Judas told himself he would return what he took. Over time, the amount grew, and restoring it seemed impossible.
Then came the opportunity. All three Synoptic Gospels tell us that Judas went to the chief priests and negotiated his price (Matthew 26:14, Mark 14:10, Luke 22:4).
In his mind:
- Jesus would escape as He always had.
- Rome would never allow an execution.
- The money would solve his problem.
He was wrong.
Another Overlooked Detail
“Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus. Since that disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the courtyard of the high priest… and brought Peter in.”
— John 18:15–16
Who was this “other disciple”?
Traditionally, it is understood to be John the Apostle. However, throughout the Gospel of John, he typically refers to himself indirectly as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” Here, the wording is different—simply “another disciple”—which raises questions.
Another common explanation is that this disciple was someone outside the Twelve—perhaps from a priestly or influential family—and therefore had connections with the high priest’s household in Jerusalem. Yet this theory presents its own difficulty.
The arrest of Jesus took place late at night—likely between midnight and the early hours before dawn. This timing follows the Last Supper, Jesus’ extended prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, and His subsequent arrest. By early morning, He was already being taken to Pontius Pilate (John 18:28).
This detail matters. Jesus had shared the Passover meal only with the Twelve. It seems unlikely that an unrelated outsider would suddenly appear in the middle of the night and gain immediate access to the high priest’s courtyard.
Could the “other disciple” have been Judas Iscariot?
If so, it opens a striking possibility. Judas may have intended only to identify Jesus to the authorities and then step aside. He may not have expected the situation to escalate into a full arrest and condemnation.
When events unfolded differently, Judas may have followed at a distance—alongside Simon Peter—to see what would happen. His prior dealings with the chief priests and temple guards could explain how he was “known” to the high priest’s household and able to gain access.
While this interpretation is not the traditional view, it aligns with the idea that Judas fundamentally misjudged the outcome of his actions—and only later realized the gravity of what he had set in motion.
When Everything Fell Apart
“I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.”
— Matthew 27:4
Judas does not call Jesus “Lord” or “Messiah.” He recognizes Jesus’ innocence but seems to have lost confidence in who Jesus truly was.
Overwhelmed with guilt and unable to face the other disciples, Judas chose death over repentance. In doing so, he ended every remaining opportunity for forgiveness.
Could Judas Have Acted Differently?
Yes—many times.
- He could have confessed his misuse of money and sought forgiveness.
- He could have repented even after betraying Jesus.
- Unlike Peter, who denied Jesus yet returned, Judas isolated himself.
Suicide ended his story—but it did not have to.
What Do We Learn From Judas?
Judas’ story shows how sin traps us:
- We are tempted to sin.
- We are overwhelmed by guilt.
- We isolate ourselves and fall deeper.
From within that darkness, God becomes harder to see. Yet Jesus remains a God of mercy, always ready to forgive those who turn back to Him.
No matter how great the failure, suicide is never the answer. The Church exists to welcome sinners home.
Could Judas Be Me?
Whenever guilt causes us to hide or lose hope, we walk a similar path. The tragedy of Judas is not that he sinned—but that he believed his sin was greater than God’s mercy.
May we never make the same mistake.
Let us listen to the story of Judas through song.
Click Here...References
- Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible. © 1989 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
- Pope Francis - Homily Santa Marta, 4 April 2020
- Photo Credit: Pixabay – Roman Coins
